The Free Future

I took the last hour or so to collect my thoughts and reflect on this whole situation.  When I first heard the news my heart starting beating faster.  Statuses on Facebook and blog posts and links started pouring in.  Everyone seemed to have some sort of strong reaction to all of this.  I found myself in a position I’ve been in countless times.  I am someone who I guess people would refer to as “directly affected by 9/11,” whatever that should mean.  I am of the belief that everyone who witnessed these attacks in any way is “directly affected,” and as long as you treat all discussions of the events with respect and proper consideration you have earned that same respect from me.  

So here I am yet again.  Yes I lost my father when I was 11 years old on that day.  So what should I think? What should I feel about this? Do I celebrate now that I’m hearing “justice has been served?” It didn’t come that easily to me.  I was confused. I am confused.  I don’t feel like celebrating.  I watched and I listened in silence.  I mulled over and over thinking about what this means to me, or what it means to anyone for that matter. 

My first feeling was oncoming discomfort.  Now suddenly 9/11 is back in the spotlight, something I have learned to live with over the years but is never easy.  I’ve dealt with it in classes, on television, on the internet, and in everyday discussions.  It’s a part of popular culture so I had no choice really. So I am bracing for the impact of a day that hurts so much to remember being at the center of the news yet again.

After taking some deep breaths and some time to take things into consideration I think I’ve decided what I feel I want to say about it all. I don’t really have feelings for this; I have hopes.  I hope this makes people safer.  I hope for people who were searching for some sort of closure on these matters they have found that now.  As for me, I won’t be celebrating tonight.  I will remember like I do each and every other day since I lost my father. I go to bed hoping no one else has to go through the things I have faced as a result of 9/11, and I hope everyone respects all reactions to this as long as the reactions themselves show respect.  I love and miss you Dad.